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Greeting people - Page 2 - UniLang

Greeting people

This forum is to learn about foreign cultures and habits, because language skills are not everything you need as a world citizen...

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linguoboy
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Re: Greeting people

Postby linguoboy » 2014-10-24, 17:26

Hoogstwaarschijnlijk wrote:Five times :shock: That sounds like: as long as it takes to give the other the same cold as you are having or something.

I think people in Corsica must have a lot of free time on their hands. (And perhaps not the firmest grasp of the germ theory of disease transmission.)
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Re: Greeting people

Postby mōdgethanc » 2014-10-24, 19:22

I don't think I understand the finer details of the European kissing ritual. Who kisses who first, and how is that determined? Do both parties have to kiss, or is one sufficient? And which one? Are there gender differences? Nobody ever explains this when they bring it up.
Last edited by mōdgethanc on 2014-10-24, 20:00, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Greeting people

Postby Hoogstwaarschijnlijk » 2014-10-24, 19:30

mōdgethanc wrote:I don't think I understand the finer details of this weird European kissing ritual. Who kisses who first, and how is that determined? Do both parties have to kiss, or is one sufficient? And which one? Are there gender differences? Nobody ever explains this when they bring it up.


You kiss each other at the same time! And there is always the same order with right left right. Gender differences: men don't kiss men.


Slightly related, but I recently see a lot of parents kiss their (little) children on their mouth. I'm very sure that I would never do this, I think it's really gross. My parents have only kissed me on my hair, though recently they are trying to start the normal three-kisses-ritual.

Does this child kissing thing happen in other countries as well?
Interests: lots.
Motivation: little.

Corrections appreciated.

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Re: Greeting people

Postby mōdgethanc » 2014-10-24, 19:35

Hoogstwaarschijnlijk wrote:You kiss each other at the same time! And there is always the same order with right left right.
That sounds really difficult to coordinate. Handshake protocol is complicated enough as it is.
Gender differences: men don't kiss men.
I assumed that was the case for reasons of "no homo"; I was more interested in who initiates it when there are different genders involved, like whether it's appropriate for a man to do so with a woman, or if this is frowned upon.
Does this child kissing thing happen in other countries as well?
Probably not on the mouth. Maybe on the forehead or cheek, though.

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Re: Greeting people

Postby Hoogstwaarschijnlijk » 2014-10-24, 19:41

mōdgethanc wrote:
Hoogstwaarschijnlijk wrote:You kiss each other at the same time! And there is always the same order with right left right.
That sounds really difficult to coordinate. Handshake protocol is complicated enough as it is.
Gender differences: men don't kiss men.
I assumed that was the case for reasons of "no homo"; I was more interested in who initiates it when there are different genders involved, like whether it's appropriate for a man to do so with a woman, or if this is frowned upon.
Does this child kissing thing happen in other countries as well?
Probably not on the mouth. Maybe on the forehead or cheek, though.

What is most different to coordinate, is when you have people (family) who sometimes kiss three times and other times only one. Man, I've done that wrong with my mother-in-law so many times :?
But it's not really 'kissing', it's just cheek against cheek, so there's not really an initation in that sense. Because most of the times it's just assumed that it's going to happen. (Not with business stuff though, Lada mentioned that, but with business it's always only shaking hands - luckily.) And yes, men are supposed to kiss women as well.
Interests: lots.
Motivation: little.

Corrections appreciated.

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Re: Greeting people

Postby linguoboy » 2014-10-24, 19:46

Hoogstwaarschijnlijk wrote:
mōdgethanc wrote:I don't think I understand the finer details of this weird European kissing ritual. Who kisses who first, and how is that determined? Do both parties have to kiss, or is one sufficient? And which one? Are there gender differences? Nobody ever explains this when they bring it up.

You kiss each other at the same time! And there is always the same order with right left right.

Except where it's left-right-left...

Hoogstwaarschijnlijk wrote:Gender differences: men don't kiss men.

That's more than a gender difference, it's a gender/sexuality difference. In the USA, I pretty much only kiss men (plus women who I know are familiar with the European protocol).

Hoogstwaarschijnlijk wrote:Slightly related, but I recently see a lot of parents kiss their (little) children on their mouth. I'm very sure that I would never do this, I think it's really gross. My parents have only kissed me on my hair, though recently they are trying to start the normal three-kisses-ritual. Does this child kissing thing happen in other countries as well?

It did in my family. My mother still occasionally kisses me on the mouth. (Remember, we're just talking a quick peck here. It's nothing like an actual romantic kiss.)
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Re: Greeting people

Postby mōdgethanc » 2014-10-24, 20:07

Hoogstwaarschijnlijk wrote:What is most different to coordinate, is when you have people (family) who sometimes kiss three times and other times only one. Man, I've done that wrong with my mother-in-law so many times :?
But it's not really 'kissing', it's just cheek against cheek, so there's not really an initation in that sense. Because most of the times it's just assumed that it's going to happen. (Not with business stuff though, Lada mentioned that, but with business it's always only shaking hands - luckily.) And yes, men are supposed to kiss women as well.
I suppose it's not more complicated than our complex etiquette around handshaking. Sometimes it's clear when it's called for, like meeting a new business client, but other times it's not. If I just met a casual acquaintance and they stuck out their hand, I would do it, but it's not something I tend to do myself. And there are some settings where it's a no-no, like a hospital (risk of spreading pathogens). Another problem is that it's hard to tell how firm your grip should be. A weak handshake signals that you're a wimp, but gripping someone's hand so tightly it's painful looks like you're overcompensating.

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Re: Greeting people

Postby linguoboy » 2014-10-24, 21:13

mōdgethanc wrote:And there are some settings where it's a no-no, like a hospital (risk of spreading pathogens).

I was actually rather taken aback the other day to be offered a handshake by my father's orthopedist. Instead I fist-bumped him, joking that it came with the CDC's recommendation.
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Re: Greeting people

Postby Prowler » 2014-10-24, 21:55

mōdgethanc wrote:I don't think I understand the finer details of the European kissing ritual. Who kisses who first, and how is that determined? Do both parties have to kiss, or is one sufficient? And which one? Are there gender differences? Nobody ever explains this when they bring it up.

Here, usually, guys greet girls and girls greet each other with a kiss on the cheek. You only do it twice. And it doesn't really need to make contact. You can "air kiss" if you'd like.

I don't like physical greetings much. I wish people just simply said "hi" and leave it at it. Hugs are worse than kisses, though. Especially those bone crushing ones. I don't find hugging to be comfortable at all.

To be honest, when I meet someone, my first instinct is to extend my hand, regardless of the opposite party's gender.
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Re: Greeting people

Postby loqu » 2014-10-24, 21:58

I can only speak about Andalusia and Spain in general -though I can't assure it's the same in the whole state-.

NOTE: 'kiss each other' always means twice, once on each cheek.

Male with male (standard) shake hands.
Male with male (when they are relatives) kiss each other.
Male with male (gay standard) kiss each other.
Male with male (strong friendship) hug. There are no kisses involved.
When there's a female involved, no matter with whom, they kiss each other.

First of all, let me explain the 'gay standard' thing: this is standard in the gay scene. Apart from that, when two people are openly gay they would greet each other with two kisses no matter where. If one of them is in the closet or afraid of being identified he will try to shake hands instead.

About the thing of who kisses whom, it's practically synchronous. As soon as you notice that someone is approaching you to give you the two kisses, you coordinate the movement to correspond. Not doing that is really rude (I don't even think I've ever seen that, except if the person refusing the kisses wants to be openly hostile).

Of course, around 80% or more of the times the kisses aren't real kisses on the cheek, you just approach and touch each other's cheek and make the movement as if you gave a kiss, but your lips are really in the air.

It seems complicated when read, but I can assure you it's really simple.

EDIT: Prowler ninja'd me about the air kisses.

Forgot to add: some families are really traditional about this and relatives always greet with two kisses, but other families (such as me with my sisters or they among themselves) greet with a real kiss on the cheek, or two or three on the same cheek. We were brought up that way, that's how our mother and grandmother kissed us, too.
Last edited by loqu on 2014-10-24, 22:03, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Greeting people

Postby Prowler » 2014-10-24, 22:03

Kissing a relative, even if it's male? Now that's weird. Don't like the idea of that at all.

Of course, not every girl/woman greets you with a kiss. If they do, then there's no turning back, I'm afraid. I always "air kiss", anyway. And man, getting wet lips on your face is pretty annoying.
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Re: Greeting people

Postby linguoboy » 2014-10-24, 22:09

Prowler wrote:And man, getting wet lips on your face is pretty annoying.

Grow a beard.
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Re: Greeting people

Postby Prowler » 2014-10-24, 22:14

linguoboy wrote:
Prowler wrote:And man, getting wet lips on your face is pretty annoying.

Grow a beard.

I have one, but my facial hair mostly grows on my jaw line and on and below chin. Nobody is gonna kiss me there.
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Re: Greeting people

Postby IpseDixit » 2014-10-24, 22:16

linguoboy wrote:
Prowler wrote:And man, getting wet lips on your face is pretty annoying.

Grow a beard.


Actually that would make me want to kiss someone.

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Re: Greeting people

Postby Luís » 2014-10-25, 10:55

Prowler wrote:Kissing a relative, even if it's male? Now that's weird. Don't like the idea of that at all.


I actually do greet my father like that. But he's the only one. My brother or my uncles get the regular handshake.
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Re: Greeting people

Postby mōdgethanc » 2014-10-25, 20:24

linguoboy wrote:I was actually rather taken aback the other day to be offered a handshake by my father's orthopedist. Instead I fist-bumped him, joking that it came with the CDC's recommendation.
I was kind of shocked to see that the last time I visited my doctor, he washed his hands afterward by running them under water for about two seconds - and that was after a physical examination which surely warranted it. He wasn't even wearing gloves. But he's just such a nice guy that I didn't want to say anything about it.

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Re: Greeting people

Postby loqu » 2014-10-25, 21:51

IpseDixit wrote:
linguoboy wrote:Grow a beard.


Actually that would make me want to kiss someone.

:lol:

Now that you guys mention hospitals, you would never greet your doctor physically around here. Not even your psychiatrist.
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Re: Greeting people

Postby Car » 2014-10-26, 10:27

Unfortunately, people love shaking hands so much here that even doctors do it often enough. I had a doctor who'd first touch his nose with his hands and shortly afterwards would shake them with you. Ok, he was only talking to me, but there are even doctors who shake hands even when they have to do things or if one of the sides has a cold. But in general healthcare is one area where it's not that common.

Speaking of colds, people still go on shaking hands if they have one or when you don't want to because you have one.

Apparently, people aren't doing it that much in other parts of Germany.
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